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Thursday, April 13, 2006
SOME MORNINGS YOU JUST CAN'T GET GOING...
"Well for heaven's sakes, you needn't stare like that..."
Well, the very nerve. Just because I got a shot of Maitri when she was just up and looked like a walking nightmare -- OH, that HAIR -- she whipped out the camera and took a picture of me when I was barely out of my cage. I mean I hadn't even had time to preen for godsakes. And she kept me up all night with her coughing. She's sick and so she's going to stalk me with that camera. At least now she's settled down with her tea watching, "The View." At least I only watch the "Hot Topics." She watches the ridiculous stuff like "How to look 120 pounds thinner by wearing this brand new whatEVER that some new designer just came out with, without even dieting." I'll admit to peeking when there are food segments, but I don't think I'm thought of any less for that. SHE will watch, well, I won't even go there, it's just too embarrassing. It has to do with those plastic surgery segments where someone starts out a fairly normal human being and comes out looking like they are now on the other side of the knife in The Witness Protection Program. Oh, it's just too grim.
I said to Moe that if we're lucky it will be just like over the holidays. She was so sick for the better part of 2 months she had NO VOICE at all for FOUR BLESSED WEEKS! You just can't imagine the peace we had around here. I didn't have to hear her come rumbling down the stairs in the morning to get Moe outside calling over her shoulder, "HenRYYYYYYYY, get that latté going, will ya?" or, "Henry, I really don't feel well. Will you run the sweeper and dust a little? And then do the kitchen, don't forget to wipe the counters after you get the dishwasher going. You know I'm not up to doing housework today." Well, I am here to tell you that THAT woman hasn't been "up to housework" since before she was born. If her friend Jeff didn't come over here to help her out a little every now and again, the county would hang a "Condemned" sign on the door. I mean where's the Health Department when you need them?
Well, alright, I'll cut her a break. She joined Netflix because she barely ever leaves the house and she put 2 movies on her list that I really wanted to see. The Wild Parrots Of Telegraph Hill AND March Of The Penguins. She just sent her first movie back and "Wild Parrots" is on the way. I'm so excited I can barely stand it. Of course the other movies in her queue are pretty lame if you ask me but she loves them. She likes those movies set in the 30's with pretty scenery in Ireland or some place. She loves Judy Dench, and I haven't a bad thing to say about Dame Judy really but I've never seen a parrot in one of her movies. Maggie Smith? No parrots there. She likes things set in Tuscany and Provence, series from Public t.v. and documentaries (Yawn....), and she's got Proof on her list because she likes both heady movies AND Anthony Hopkins. I would never have rented it. I can't take an actress seriously who names her child after a piece of fruit. And I mean really, she just had another baby and named it after our dog, Moses. I think she's been spying on us and I don't like it one bit. I don't like the idea of that kind of business anyway. Imagine, hidden cameras and me sitting here unpreened! The very thought! And Heavenly Days! If anyone caught Maitri with hair color in and a facial mask on it would scare the living hooha outta them. Might even put someone in a coma. No, I don't think anybody in their right mind would wanna spy on us. Picture this -- this is how exciting it gets around here.... Maitri blowing her nose. Too many birds eating too much seed. Moe asleep on the couch. Maitri coughing. 3 VAIN beta fish piddling about in their tanks, Maitri knitting, more birds eating more seed. Maitri sitting and thinking. Me sitting and thinking. Yes, it's so dull around here bugs won't even come in our house. And now this. Now she's sick again.
I guess we won't be singing I Ain't Never Gonna Love Nobody But (boom boom) Cor-Nell Craw-ford with K.T. Oslin and dancing around the room (If you can CALL what Maitri does DANCING with those ridiculous feet of hers that she's always breaking or something...). Probably she won't even go out to do a few errands and bring us a treat or a toy. Sigh.... She'll probably feel too badly to watch much t.v. (she likes it quiet when she's sick... she naps in Moe's spot, poor dog...) and we won't get to see the reruns of Law and Order. Geez, this is grimmer than I'd imagined. After all, I'm no heartless psittacine. I'll go make her more tea, and pull the afghan over her legs, and sit on her shoulder and preen her a little. I might even nudge Moe off the couch so she can lay down. Maybe later I'll call out for some Hot-Sour soup. She always likes that when she's sick and she can't even talk now. Oh Bother, as Pooh would say. (We've been watching quite a bit of Winnie The Pooh lately, or rather SHE has. She watches it with our Bootle, her little grandson. I can almost take it when she goes around saying "Oh Bother..." but when she does the Tigger song, I have to put my feathers in my earholes. I mean she's no tigger and she SURELY doesn't BOUNCE. God help us if she tried...)
Alright then, I'd best put the kettle on. She's looking frightful. A bird has to suck up, er, what I meant to say was, gain a few points if he wants some treats, or, perhaps I'll just say I always have her best interests at heart, and so I shall make the tea and give her a big beaky smile. She likes that. Yes. That's just what I'll do..
Henry
The Compassionate Psittacine
*v*
Posted at 12:53 pm by maitri
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