WELL, THERE WAS JUST NO WAY I COULD HOLD BACK ANY LONGER... « HENRY TELLS ALL ~ LIFE AT DRAGONFLY COTTAGE

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

WELL, THERE WAS JUST NO WAY I COULD HOLD BACK ANY LONGER...

"If I don't get a sip of that latte in 15 seconds
I'm going to tell everything I know..."

Well, you can't say I didn't warn her...

It's a shame really. I try to do my best by her, what with all her rather odd conditions. She takes pills for them, but by my best estimation she's still crazy as a loon half the time. I mean please, who in their right mind needs six parrots, 2 finches, 3 beta fish, and a dog. Well, Moe's alright. He and I like to hang out and watch Law and Order. He puts his paws over his eyes through half the show, but at least I've got him watching something decent now besides cartoons and the cooking channel with Maitri. Here we were just the other night watching reruns of our favorite show when it wasn't one of the 12 nights of the week they have one of the versions of Law and Order on. I mean we've got our limits. We do like to do a few other things than watch t.v.

ANYWAY, so there I was this morning, telling her, "I'm certain it's time to make our latté. You look subhuman, your hair is standing straight up, you have that googly face you have on when you first get up in the morning and you're embarrassing me no end. What if someone came to the door? Now here's your pills -- and take them all, no sneaking them to Moe -- and then we'll go in the kitchen and I'll fire up the latté machine...

Well, she finally took the pills and got up out of the chair. Talk about a feat. It's enough to make a bird get the vapors just steering her in the right direction and hoping she doesn't fall over her own two FEET. She's always falling down the stairs and breaking them or tripping over a tissue and going right flat out on her face. Lord have mercy, I don't know how I keep my wits about me half the time. I thought maybe I could count on Yeats, but all he does is swim around and recite poetry.... "The blue and the dim and the dark... night, light, and the half-light...." I used to like that poem but that fish has driven me pure crazy with it...

And if I have to hear that fish say, "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful," one more time I'm going to put something nasty in his fish bowl. If you ask me all three of those beta fish think they're too good for their own britches and Maitri pampers them so you'd think they were birds or something. I mean really! They may be flashy but they've no feathers at all and can't say a single word. Maitri says the way I talk would sometimes make the eyebrows fall offa sailor, but then, what does she know about sailors? (And if she knows anything at all about them I don't want to know. I'm young and impressionable after all.)

Finally we got settled down with our latte and I got my sip and Maitri hogged the rest (She says coffee is bad for boys, and she only lets me have a wee nip of the foam, but heaven's, do I live for that sip!).

Ahhhhhhhhh..... (smacking beak) ..... that sure is good! Now I'll dictate to her and get her working on today's e-mail. People don't have half a clue that I answer most of the e-mail around here. She's the epitome of The Absent Minded Professor, and goes about like The White Queen in Alice Through The Looking Glass who said that she believed six impossible things every morning before breakfast. Well God help us, Maitri didn't need to hear that. You don't want to egg the poor woman on. Three quarters of what she believes is impossible if not downright absurd to begin with, she didn't need any more screwball ideas. (Shaking head sadly....) Well, one kind of grows fond of her after all. She's not quite right, but she's better than most, and she treats me like the world's most fabulous grey parrot, which of course I am, and all of our cages look like Disneyland, and we're always out playing and having lots of treats so I guess we fare okay. You can meet some of the rest of them another day. If we don't get on this e-mail, we'll never get through it. And we've got tea to taste and review and the tea book to work on (I'm writing most of that. Don't tell anyone!) and then there's all this fiber I have to help her spin, and Lord have mercy, these spoolknitters are taking over the place and there's a whole family of them moving in. It's positively frightening. More on them another day. For now, it's time for Maitri and I to get on with the mountain of e-mail we get every morning, and Lordy Moses there's a ton of it today. Now listen here Maitri, write this down...

I just love that sound, "clickety-clackety, clickety-clackety..." We writers just can't get enough of the tippy tip tapping on the keyboard. Come on Maitri, there's three hundred more e-mail to answer and it's time for my treat!

Until next time...

Henry

*v*

Grey Parrot,
Dragonfly Cottage Office
Manager, and God Help Me,
the only one in the place
sane enough to look
after Maitri...

Posted at 03:07 am by maitri


	bajaboy April 6, 2006 02:27 PM PDT Henry, I would love to design your "Gay Rights! It's for the Birds!" shirt. No wait a minute, that doesn't sound at all right... "Birds are Bottoms Too!" No that's not it either... "Gray Pride"? Urgghhhhh, give me a minute to ponder...


	Henry, Grey Parrot April 5, 2006 10:01 PM PDT Oh, and for the record, if anyone makes any cracks about a boy my age still living at home with his mother, they shall be banned from this blog, do you hear me? I'm very serious about this. Henry, who isn't kidding... v


	Henry, Grey Parrot April 5, 2006 10:00 PM PDT BajaBoy, my man! (High fiving with little grey wing...) I should most certainly have been clearer. Coffee is bad for birds. We're not supposed to have coffee, chocolate or avocados which can actually kill us. And as to "going gay," ahem, well, that's a subject we just don't know how to answer. I'm gay, and Maitri left a 25 year marriage to a dear man, has three children and a grandbaby and came out a lesbian at 45. She is now divorced and an old woman of nearly 52. It seems if there's an answer to THAT question we'd be the last ones to know. Of course, ahem, she has had QUITE a few lattes in her adult life. Now I wonder if that might have had anything to do with it... Henry, thinking.... And, ahem, do you supposed you could design me a t-shirt that says, "Gay birds have rights too!"?


	Henry, Grey Parrot April 5, 2006 09:52 PM PDT Dearest Lisa, Well, I hope you have a guest room because after I put that picture of her up when she first woke up, well, she had a little snit and I had to give her extra nerve pills. Lord Chile, you'da thought I'da gone and killed someone. My quest for the truth may not be her cup of tea, but it's my perfect right as a US citizen. Freedom of speech and digital photos, isn't that the way the Constitution reads? Anyway, if she breaks anything else, I'll not just call on you, you all can come here and take care of her. I can't live through that again... "Oh Henry, can you get me this? Oh HENRY, MY BACK ITCHES AND I CAN'T REACH IT. Henry, would you make me a cuppa tea?" Well fer criminy sakes, it's someone else's turn next time. You take care. Somebody oughta. Henry


	Henry, Grey Parrot April 5, 2006 09:47 PM PDT Dear Kathie, Well, of course I'd never be seen in it in public, but I DO wear a grey shawl. She got one in grey just for me and MY GOD I am simply stunning in it. And yes, I'd like to chat but if you had ANY idea the mountain of things she has for me to do around here, well, it's not that I'm mistreated or anything, in fact I can barely get in my cage for all the toys, I never stop eating, but I don't worry about my portly grey figure because I keep so busy flying about this little cottage I burn it right off. Off I go.Tote that barge, lift that bale. You take care now, hear? And thanks for stopping in... Love, Henry


	Henry, Grey Parrot April 5, 2006 09:42 PM PDT Thank you Rachel. I am assuming you are THE Rachel. You know, I don't get as many treats since she started buying your tea. Are you the Rachel from Scent By Spirit. If you are, can you send me some of those.... HENRY, I HEARD THAT!!!!!!! Oh crikey, she heard me.... Henry, gettin' scarce


	bajaboy April 5, 2006 08:01 PM PDT Henry, I had no idea that coffee was bad for boys!!!! (eyes popping out) Please elaborate... as intelligent as you are I must assume you have some amount of medical knowledge on the subject. If mum could nail it on the coffee as to why I "went gay", well, then at least the pressure would be off her and my father for being bad parents (wink, wink). One latte connaiseur to another though, I think this "coffee is bad for boys" stuff is pure balderdash! Preposterous really. It's the one vice I have left. Drink on I say, my platinum feathered friend.


	Name Lisa April 5, 2006 07:02 PM PDT Bravo! Henry! Excellent opening post. I look forward to reading many more tales about your life and times at the Dragonfly Cottage with Mlle Maitri and co. It sounds like you have everybody well in hand and in control. You just keep running that tight ship and everything will be fine. Make sure mommy dearest takes good care of herself and minds her P's and Q's now! We don't want any more calamities now do we? If things get rough, you know that you can always enlist Mo to help you call on all your pals out here on the web. toodles dear gray one!


	Kathie the dreamweaver April 5, 2006 10:35 AM PDT Henry, , dear, sweet ,grey, dragonfly parrot of my dreams......'tis wonderful that you have your own blog now to tell all...and life for you at the dfc looks good....With all things managed and in their places perhaps we can slip away for an afternoon of oooolong after all... I do suppose you must be walking on the tips of your tinesy toes after recieving the new order of the most beautiful shawls in the world..Is your beak sore Master Henry? I know you did have to rub it on to each new color..Maiti does give you some fantastic perks besides watching the tube with Moe...I will,regretfully, depart..to let you get on with your duties..Have a fine day Henry..It looks like a perfect morning in Louisiana to scrumble a wee bit...till next time....Kathie


	Rachel April 5, 2006 08:59 AM PDT Brilliant expose Henry! Aren't you looking quite dapper this fine day. Can't say that I blame you for wanting in on that latte. Keep up the excellent work, can't wait to read more!!

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